What Your Dog REALLY Wants for Christmas: A Very Honest Holiday Wish List
Walks. Squeaky toys. Your blanket. And a little something for their stocking.
Shopping for Christmas gifts for dogs would be much easier if they could write their own wish lists. Right?
Although, honestly, most of them have been dropping hints all year.
The meaningful stare at the treat cupboard. The toy deposited directly on your foot. The way your side of the couch somehow became their side of the couch.
Message received.
So before we get carried away with matching holiday pajamas- no judgment; we understand the assignment, here’s what we imagine would make your dog’s holiday wish list.
1. A walk where THEY decide the pace
Not a quick lap around the block because you have seventeen things to do.
A proper expedition.
Time to investigate that one fence post. Revisit a very important shrub. Stand perfectly still while considering something you cannot see, hear, or begin to understand.
You thought you were going for a walk.
They thought they were conducting a neighborhood investigation.
For this particular holiday gift, the wrapping is optional. The patience is not.
2. A squeaky toy that makes an absolutely ridiculous noise
You know the one.
You squeeze it once in the store and immediately think, Absolutely not.
Your dog would like twelve.
Preferably something that sounds like a goose arguing with a screen door. Preferably introduced during the quietest part of your favorite holiday movie.
A festive little reminder that peace on earth means different things to different members of the household.
3. Your blanket
Not the dog blanket.
Not the lovely blanket you bought specifically for the dog.
Your blanket.
The soft one. The one you just settled under. The one that apparently becomes more desirable the second you start using it.
Their holiday request is simple: you may continue purchasing blankets, provided you understand who they belong to.
4. Whatever happens to be on your plate
It does not matter that they have already eaten.
It does not matter that you are eating something they have never shown interest in before.
It is on your plate. Therefore, it deserves further investigation.
At our house, Penny knew exactly who the weakest link was.
{Spoiler: it was me.}
One look, and suddenly I was defending myself to a dog who had not actually said anything.
The holiday table may be on their wish list. We can admire the ambition without making it the menu. A treat of their own is a much better plot twist.
5. Your undivided attention
No phone in one hand. No wrapping paper in the other.
Just you, on the floor, fully available for whatever extremely important activity they have planned.
Perhaps fetch.
Perhaps a belly rub.
Perhaps watching them hold a toy they have absolutely no intention of giving you.
Nothing to assemble. Nothing to charge. Just a little time together in the middle of a very busy season.
6. A little something in their stocking
Do they understand the concept of a Christmas stocking?
Unclear.
Will they investigate a stocking that contains dog treats?
Yes. We feel confident about that one.
If you’re looking for dog stocking stuffers, our holiday treat tubes are ready for the nice list. A little something for your own dog, your granddog, or the four-legged member of the family you would never dream of leaving out.
Because sometimes the gift you’re looking for isn’t a big production.
It’s a small, thoughtful way to say, Of course I remembered the dog.
And if their nice-list status is under review?
We are willing to overlook a few incidents involving socks.
The best part doesn’t need wrapping
The walk. The ridiculous toy. The blanket they were going to take anyway.
A little something to unwrap and a little more time with their favorite person.
That sounds like a pretty good holiday wish list to us.
What would YOUR dog add?
A second breakfast?
Exclusive couch rights?
A formal ban on the vacuum cleaner?
We’d love to hear.
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